a moment to wallow.

i miss him tonight. it was one of those summer days with an afternoon shower... a day to be cozy, together. i think i'm doing amazingly well - fierce, independent... but i miss his kisses, his arms around me. Portland called tonight, after the flyers victory... did my heart flutter? or do i simply want it to flutter because i miss the ex? i bragged yesterday that it has been such a clean break-up... who was i trying to kid? he gave me that promise ring and i still do not know why he would do that if he didn't love me with every inch of his heart. even he didn't have an answer when i asked that last conversation. and i hate that he hasn't called me, that he hasn't realized that i am the love of his life and he must beg for my forgiveness and he wants me back. would i let him have the broken pieces of my heart again? we played such games in college - i always thought we were meant to be because of the tug of war game that we played... why else would i continue to love him even after he took another girl to formal, time after time? we just clicked. alright, no more wallowing.

tomorrow's a new day.